Uncertainty

I am sitting at home, dealing with an onset of a cold and thinking about something to write about. I thought to myself, "What have I been thinking about most lately?" Most would think the answer would be school, but the truth of the matter it is everything but school that has bombarded my mind here lately. Dont get me wrong school has a definite spot in this brain of mine, but life tends to cram as much into the mind that sometimes it feels so overwhelming. I wonder why I have to deal with certain things and what the purpose in the long run will be. I wonder if I have the strength to continue to face the same challenges over and over. I stop and think to myself, "Why cant life be easy and happy all of the time, not just snipets here and there?" I try my hardest to keep a happy face, but sometimes that just gets to be to much and then when I want a break from being "happy go lucky" everyone is wondering what is wrong. Can't someone just be the way they feel without anyone wondering why? If I wanted to share with you then I would. I think that sometimes it is healthy to be self reflective and somber every once and a while. I am not in danger nor do I intend on flying off the handle. So if you are thinking that this post is a red flag, don't. I am not emotionally distraught but self reflective and curious about the future. Where will I be in the next year? What hardships will come my way? How will I continue to deal with the crap that continues to rear its ugly little head? What happens when the term family is sooooo skewed? How do you build a family again? Is it possible to start over with loved ones? Soooo many questions and no certainty. Uncertainty is an awful thing. Prayer...I keep that close and know that this to shall pass.